#8sunday April 26, 2015 Scott’s Story 4

It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time again. This is my submission.

These are the next few lines to one of my (as yet untitled) works in progress. (They have been edited slightly to fit the sentence limit.) 

#8sunday April 26, 2015 Scott’s Story 4

Can’t imagine why them-that-be didn’t just wait. Guess they really wanted to get that fancy Facility of theirs pumping out their rare earth minerals. Shareholders and Boards.”

The landing craft started shuddering in earnest.

Gonna get a little interesting. Hang on then.”

The seat, into which she had strapped herself, seemed somewhat inadequate. Pushing back into the hard plastifoam cushions, she hung on with white knuckles and fingers.

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13 thoughts on “#8sunday April 26, 2015 Scott’s Story 4

  1. Yikes! Sounds like a tense moment. I can feel the emotion.

    The phrase “hung on with white knuckles” doesn’t sound quite right to me, though. Do people hang on with knuckles? Or do they hang on so hard they have white knuckles?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the voices in this–the speaker sounds old-fashioned folksy and maybe not as educated as the MC?

    I’m envisioning the speaker casually jabbering away while the MC is panicking. Excellent! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Curious to see what happens next! I think the last two lines can be tightened up a bit to help convey the severity of the situation. I don’t know if that makes sense. . . The dialogue was engaging and interesting. The optimist in me thinks they’ll be fine, but the skeptic part of me thinks they are going to crash XD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for stopping by. You are right about the last sentences of course. They were jury rigged to fit the numbers. but having said that, all will end well, this time.


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