#8sunday July 12 , 2015 Scott’s Story 12

It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time again. This is my submission, I offer another piece from my as-yet-untitled WIP. Orida has carried out her performance and attended the post concert reception. She has, to all intents and purpose, completed her mission. This is what happens next.

#8sunday July 12 , 2015 Scott’s Story 12

“It’s just as well we started early, there is a storm warning. We have 90 minutes to get you to the shuttle.”

They hurried down the broad passage to their waiting ground hop.

Their trip had been hasty, and surreal, as all of Orida’s sense of movement was focused on the two small beams of the land hop’s lights. The blank black of the desert night completely enfolded them, and only the sky was faintly alive with the pinpricks of light from distant galaxies.

Aurice guided her expertly through the interplanetary departure formalities, and once again, Orida was strapped in a seat in a small utilitarian craft.

This time, her pilot was a nervous young man, whose Adam’s apple bobbed alarmingly in his throat. He introduced himself, distractedly, as Tohn and started with his lift-off protocols. His mood was contagious, and Orida found herself gripping her seat compulsively as the small lander lifted off the tarcrete apron.

© Kim Magennis 2015 If you enjoyed reading this, please, let me know.Your comments or impressions are very welcome. Alternatively, click on the ‘like’ button below. To see what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, click on the link below. wewriwa banner

38 thoughts on “#8sunday July 12 , 2015 Scott’s Story 12

  1. Why do I get the feeling that our pilot knows more than he thinks he should? Or… that he doesn’t? (I love how his mood is ‘contagious’.)

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  2. Terrific visualizations! LOL, I don’t like flying at all so this line “her pilot was a nervous young man” really reached into my core. Great tension.

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    1. Thank you Veronica. Now the story has to live up to they hype. I am trying to resist the temptation to rewrite before I have at least one complete version down.

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  3. Love this line:
    “The blank black of the desert night completely enfolded them, and only the sky was faintly alive with the pinpricks of light from distant galaxies.”
    Nice job 🙂

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  4. There’s a certain irony in her having these very important missions, and then being shunted from one place to another like she’s just a package that needs delivering.

    And something is telling me NOT to trust this Tohn fellow. Gotta be a reason he’s so nervous, and I’m guessing that it’s more than a fear of storms…

    By the way, ‘tarcrete’ is a wonderful word. Just sayin’!

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    1. Thanks Shan. It’s always a challenge to come up with the names SciFi products without having to write a book about each term. I always feel that the Reader also wants to know its not just a plain old runway/landing pad.

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      1. I have the same challenge with my fantasies. I want it to be clear that my Tribed characters have a very different way of perceiving nearly everything than my more typically humanoid Untribed characters. It leads to many interesting wordforms (sunlength; tenbreathh, bloodpulse), because, like you, I don’t want towrite a whole book just to describe the lingo! =)

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