#8sunday July 26 , 2015 Scott’s Story 14

It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time again. This is my submission, I offer a piece from my as-yet-untitled WIP. This is the last instalment of Orida’s story – for a while at least. 

#8sunday July 26 , 2015 Scott’s Story 14

Orida woke. Disoriented, she pushed herself up from soft sand. She was still dressed in the rumpled grey jump suit she had donned after the reception. Although the ambient light was poor, she could make out the rough walls of a cave surrounding her.

She remembered the terrifying plunge of the exit craft as Tohn lost control. The spinning, the shrieking of the alarms on the console, the sudden black as the lights in the cockpit extinguished. And that was all. Try as she may, there were no other memories she could trace. She had no idea where she was, or how she had found her way there.

© Kim Magennis 2015

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29 thoughts on “#8sunday July 26 , 2015 Scott’s Story 14

  1. COOL. We knew something bad was going to happen from all your excellent foreshadowing in prior weeks. Can’t wait for more – this is very tense and intriguing. Great snippet!


  2. The description of the crash was powerful, very vivid and tense. I also wondered if Tohn survived or was he somehow set up to ditch the vessel?

    One observation and it may be wrong, your line “there was no other memories” should be were.

    I hope you don’t cut this scene from the book, it is really good.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love Dune, too! And the Aiel Waste from The Wheel of Time…and the real-life Arizona desert where I met my Accomplice…

    I’m looking around – for other people, or signs of them. At the sky, to see what sun(s?) or other celestial bodies might be up there…

    At the surrounding landscape, for wreckage or signs of habitation. Around the cave, for sources of food, water, cool, warmth (because nights are cold in the desert) and danger…

    I guess she’ll need the time away to figure some things out. Way to leave us on a cave-hanger, Kim! =D

    BTW, I’m going to do the challenge you’ve tagged me for – I expect to get to that later tonight when (if?) the house quiets down, and after my write-in…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Teresa. I have tentatively cut this scene from the text. I think it may be better to allude to it some other way, so this may be the only time it sees the light of day!


  4. Dune is my favorite book, so I have to be honest and say your sand picture caught me right away and made me think, “I hope there’s a desert in this!” and you didn’t disappoint! I love the name Orida. Pretty and distinctive, but not gratuitously so. This snippet definitely left me wanting more. I can’t wait to see what you post next week.


    1. Thank you Holly! DEFINITELY a desert planet 😊
      I have just acquired ‘The Winds Of Dune’ by Brian Herbert and Kevin J Anderson – can’t wait to indulge myself.


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