It’s Weekend Writing Warriors time again. This is my submission. What started out as a paragraph in response to visual prompt took on a life and mind of its own and this is where it went.
#8sunday August 23 , 2015 Birdie 04
After the introduction of our main character, we discover that she is a haunt, who has been trapped in her childhood home, consuming fragments of her broken, discarded dreams as her only sustenance. Made homeless by the demolishing of her refuge, she takes to wandering the streets. She is unexpectedly gifted with the attention of a stray ginger cat. Every day the cat goes on a mission. Our haunt decides to follow it.
The read the preceding text click here. The story continues with the following 10 sentences (I have included the last line of the last post for continuity):
One day, taken with its attitude of feline purpose, I decided to follow it. So I jogged down the road after it, with its stripy orange back end a few meters ahead of me.
We were soon trotting along the dusty dirt road to the one and only rail siding in the village. A couple of shanty huts had sprung up, like dusty trail weeds, in the dry brush, lining the tracks. A forlorn string of grey washing was strung to an equally dismal sapling. The clothing flapped listlessly in the small breeze that stirred the dust at my feet.
I heard the commotion inside, long before I could separate the voices. A deep growl, underpinned a higher, hysterical note. A child, I decided. The buckled metal door swung open, and a slight, ragged form tumbled into the dirt, stopping just a few heartbeats from where I stood, frozen.
© Kim Magennis 2015
Please, let me know what you think.Your comments or impressions are always very welcome. Alternatively, let me know you were here by clicking on the ‘like’ button below. To see what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, please click on the link below
Hope she can help the poor child and change her gray world.
LikeLike
This is one smart cat–or one lucky haunt. I wonder if she can do anything for this poor child, though.
You do have a version of “dust’ three times in four sentences, which is a bit repetitive. Unless it’s on purpose…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Caitlin. I did take a bit of ‘poetic’ licence in this piece as a whole. So rhythm, rhyme and repetition do happen a lot. But I will keep an eye out that it doesn’t get a bit much. I really appreciate the input.
LikeLike
The dismal-ness of the scene you described is fabulous – in a good writer’s way 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you Victoria
LikeLike
Ah – a child – they can see things adults can’t.
LikeLike
Indeed, Daryl!
LikeLike
Oooh, I liked the segue between that desolate road to the sudden sounds of not-so-desolation. Fab snippet!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Mari, and thanks for stopping by.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fascinating story you’ve got going on and I’m enjoying the cat’s involvement. Can’t wait for more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Veronica
LikeLike
This is no ordinary cat, because he’s leading her somewhere, rather than darting off to stare murderously at birds in a bush or slinking out of sight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Charming and intriguing. I can’t wait for next week.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Aurora.
LikeLike
Lovely, evocative imagery with an exciting conclusion. Great snippet!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fabulous descriptions, and you’ve created a wonderful mood to this piece, Kim, I love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Steven!
LikeLike
Very descriptive writing. Nice.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The cat had a reason for leading the haunt home, wonder if the child will be able to see her.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉 Chelle, I can’t give away secrets, but you are on the right track!
LikeLike
A very lonely, desolate feel to this snippet. Very descriptive!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Tamara. It is darker than I have written before.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“A couple of shanty huts had sprung up, like dusty trail weeds,…”
Kim – I adore the way you spin your sentences. It’s like the little houses sprang to life, and since she’s a ghost, I like the juxtaposition. Great snippet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Paula. Life can pop up where you don’t expect it and perish where you expect it to thrive.
LikeLike