Hello again, Weekend Writing Warriors! This is my next 7-sentence-snippet in my latest short story. I have included the last sentence of the preceding piece for continuity
#8sunday October 11 , 2015 Birdie 10
This story is told from the point of view of a ‘haunt’. She is trapped in a limbo of homeless wandering, when she meets an orange cat and its human child. After an encounter with the child’s abusive father the trio escape into the nearby wilds.
To read the preceding text click here. The story continues with the following 7 sentences:
When morning broke, I awoke to birdsong, and the tickle of mousy hair against my nose and cheeks. The child was nestled against my body, and my arms had wrapped themselves around her and the cat. The pain of the previous day flooded back, along with the bewildering knowledge that somehow to this lone waif and her feline companion, I was Real.
My heart stuttered. The tightness binding it cracked and then shattered apart. Heat filled my chest, and flooded my limbs, like liquid sunshine. My back ached, and my mouth was dry and tasted foul, but I lay there in the golden warmth, in wonder.
© Kim Magennis 2015
Your comments or impressions are always very welcome. Please, drop me a word or two. Alternatively, let me know you were here by clicking on the ‘like’ button below. To enjoy what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, please click on the link below
Love it, especially the child nestled at her side, it sparks the maternal instinct in the reader. Great job!
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Powerful moment, quiet and effective. Really enjoyed this snippet. Hope you keep going with this story!
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That’s quite a moment! I wonder if she’s changed from it?
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Very cool, but now I’m wondering what she’ll have to face as a result of this change in her status. Enjoyed the excerpt!
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I liked the description and the haunt’s sense of connection with herself. Nicely done!
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Thank you Lorien!
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Thank you for coming into our world, Kim with your delicate prose and words of mysterious beauty.
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Thank you for such kind words Charmaine! I shall have great fun in living up to them
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Wonderful description of her feeling alive, although possibly not lively.
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Thank you Aurora. You are right that the two are completely different 😊
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This is tender and beautiful. Love to see this haunt waking to the world once more.
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Thank you Millie, for your kind words. The joy of such small pieces is that we get a chance to really unpack the nuances.
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“…somehow to this lone waif and her feline companion, I was Real.” I am sooooo hooked, Kim! This is wonderful writing. Your word choice is perfect. Great snippet!
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Thank you Teresa. The polishing and fine tuning takes the longest 😊 some words just seem to fall in place together and others just won’t fit.
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Excellent sensory details to show how she is becoming alive.
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Thank you Cara, for your kind words, much appreciated
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Loved that last paragraph! Both warm and heartbreaking at the same time.
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Thank you Christina. I think life can be like that, the pain and pleasure, and joy and sorrow of embracing reality.
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Such glorious writing, Kim. You had me at “When morning broke, I woke to birdsong…” I love the header photo you used today too.
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Thank you Paula. I always enjoy hunting for pictures to accompany my posts without giving too much away😏
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Cool stuff. Reading this made me realize just how your haunt kept herself apart from the world, observing but not taking part. Now she’s ready–or at least hoping–to be part of the world again.
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Absolutely, Ed. She wasn’t really aware of the disconnection until now.
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