Greetings, Weekend Writing Warriors! This is my next snippet in my short story entitled “Birdie”.
#8sunday October 25 , 2015 Birdie 12
This story is told from the point of view of a ‘haunt’. She is trapped in a limbo of homeless wandering, when she meets an orange cat and its human child. After an encounter with the child’s abusive father the trio escape into the nearby wilds.The next morning the child takes them on a mission…
To read the preceding text click here. The story continues with the following 8 sentences:
Later that morning, we assembled ourselves in a lesser degree of disarray. She then pulled out a small packet of stale biscuits for breakfast, and the child and the cat feasted.
Tentatively, the three of us made our way, back into town. The child was no longer concerned about discovery by her father who, as she put it, was now, very likely out for the count.
The streets were quiet, and we travelled unnoticed. We were invisible to eyes that did not want to see, a shadow, a thin ragamuffin, and a scruffy cat.
When we stopped outside the small town hospital, I was surprised and not a little confused.
“Come, Miss, we know a secret way in.”
© Kim Magennis 2015
Your comments or impressions are always very welcome. Please, drop me a word or two. Alternatively, let me know you were here by clicking on the ‘like’ button below. To enjoy what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, please click on the link below
The story continues to be wildly fascinating and I see we’re all theorizing this and that (me too), which shows what a terrific job of storytelling you’re doing here. Excellent excerpt!
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Thank you Veronica. I hope my ‘ending’ also creates some interest!
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Secrets! I must go read previous blogs and find out about secrets.
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I hope the haunt can do something for this child.
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Wow, what a great line, and really captures what it’s like to be poor, downtrodden, unseen: “We were invisible to eyes that did not want to see.”
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This is really getting interesting. Is this a WIP or is it published?
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Thank you Cara. It’s a WIP.
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That little girl has a rough life, but she’s figured out how to carve space for herself. Good for her!
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You leave a curious question at the end of each snippet.
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More and more I’m drawn into the story. You have woven a mystical tale. Perhaps the secret will be revealed in the hospital.
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We are very near the end of this piece. So very soon, you should have some answers. And hopefully, some questions 😊 thank you, very much, for dropping by!
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Hmm, I wonder why they need a hospital, and a secret way in. Love how this story is unfolding!
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All will unfold, hopefully in a satisfying way!
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Great spot to end! This is a very visual excerpt but also emotional. Kudos on that 🙂
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Thank you Marcia. It has been a juggle to get the story into the best sentence sequence😊
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Such a mood set – wow – gresat job.
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Thank you Daryl. Hopefully it is building up to the last scene!
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Powerful line – we were invisible to eyes that did not want to see …. – something we’ve probably all felt at one time or another – great snippet.
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Thanks Victoria. I think there are vast swathes of society that fall into that category!
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Wonder why she knows a secret way in… Very interesting!
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I think this little one probably got to visit the hospital regularly after her father’s less tender ministrations.
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I loved the line: “We were invisible to eyes that did not want to see, a shadow, a thin ragamuffin, and a scruffy cat.” I don’t know what’s in that hospital, but I’m intrigued, Kim.
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Thank you Paula. Isn’t it strange how some sentences write themselves? This was definitely one!
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Who is this child? I have a feeling there is something significant… is there any possibility that the child is the haunt in her youth? Really keeps the reader curious and coming back for more.
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Thank you Chelle. You are right – of course! Sometimes those chance encounters are the most significant.
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Hmm. Can a hospital possibly heal a Haunt? Stay turned to find out, I guess.
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You got it, Ed! (The please stay tuned in bit, at least,)
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