Greetings Weekend Writing Warriors! I have chosen something much lighter to share in this round of snippets. These are the first 10 sentences in a sci-fi short story about a down-and-out human called Daniel. (Creative editing alert, there are a lot of REALLY short sentences. Apologies to my devoted friends who got to read this series earlier this year.)
#8sunday November 22 , 2015 The Unwanted Package
“You idiot – it’s still alive!” The tone was venomous.
“What? No! It was absolutely dead when I pulled it.”
“Obviously not!”
As if on cue, the prone form twitched, and gave a gasp as it sucked air into its lungs.
“Quick! Hand me that pole!”
There was a hollow “thunk”, as the pole connected with the round head.
© Kim Magennis 2015
Your comments or impressions are always very welcome. Please, drop me a word or two. Alternatively, let me know you were here by clicking on the ‘like’ button below. To enjoy what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, please click on the link below.
Whimsy 
Hey Kim,
I came by early this morning to comment on your Nov. 29 WeWriWa post, but couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out how to comment. I couldn’t find any comment block. Loved the post, though.
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Thank you Cara. Sorry for the glitch. Am very glad you dropped by!
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I really like the pace of this opener and I hope you plan to tease us with another 8 sentences next week. Who are they? What do you mean they “pulled it”? What will become of this thing?
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I can seriously imagine the urgency between the two characters speaking. And the humor that went along with it.
Love the snippet!
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Thank you Mari!
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Ooh, intriguing. Who do we side with? The ones who caught “it,” or “it,” which is obviously trying to survive. Very interested to see the next bit. 🙂
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Hi Amalie! Thanks for dropping by. It is never as it seems 😊 you must tell me, when you get there, who your sympathies lie with!
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Poor “it,” not having a good day at all.
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Never good when you think something’s dead and it’s…not. great snippet
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Thanks Fallon. Absolutely!
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You’ve got my attention.
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Love the thunk at the end. Sounds rather final!
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Short, not sweet but intense and raises all kinds of questions – so, the snippet was a treat! More, please.
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Hitting its head with a pole is a very strange form of resuscitation. Oh wait — they’re trying to kill it, not save it!
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It’s alive, but what is it? Short snippet but packed with intrigue. 🙂
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Thank you Lorien. Yes, when i did the counting, I realised just how many one or two word sentences I used! The next bit has more content, I promise ;-]
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Oh! What is it?
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You rascal. This is a teaser. It will live to bother everyone.
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Smiling. Absolutely Charmaine!
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I’d definitely read more! Great opening, Kim. 🙂
No snippet for me this week. 🙂
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Thanks for dropping by Teresa, and thanks for the encouragement! Much appreciated.
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Ok, very curious… what the heck is it? Really grabbed the curiousity.
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Thanks Chelle. Gotta love doling it out just a few sentences at a time!
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Ooh, intense scene. You had me on edge as the prone form came back to life. Hopefully, it’s dead now? We shall see….
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Thank you Neva. Poor Daniel, he really wanted to be …
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