Greetings Weekend Writing Warriors! These are the last 10 sentences in the first chapter of my short story about Daniel, whose Last Day did not turn out as expected. Next week I will be sharing something from another short piece I have written, which is completely different to what I have offered so far.
#8sunday January 17, 2016 The Unwanted Package 9
The cage tipped and Daniel was helpless to prevent himself from being unceremoniously dumped. Expecting contact with the cold, hard metal surface in no way prepared him for the splash, or the lungful of salt water. He rolled and tumbled in the freezing, churning waves, until he bobbed up to the surface, gasping and coughing. It was pitch black, and the waves were heaving.
“Looks like we got a live one!” He felt himself being hauled out the water by the scruff of his neck.
“Dudes! Check this out!” Daniel found himself staring into the wide yellow eyes of a round grey, undeniably alien face.
© Kim Magennis 2015
You can find the preceding sentences here for continuity.
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Fantastic details, as ever, and some nail-biting suspense here! Great job!
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Thank you, Steven!
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Did NOT see that coming, a total left turn…which makes it all the more intriguing! Can’t wait for more…
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Thank you Veronica!
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Funny snippet. Reeled in!
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Hello Lisa! Thank you for stopping by,
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At least he’s not stuck in a small cage. Now, why do the aliens speak english?
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I thought about that. My answer is: because we actually speak alien, without knowing it. They have moulded and shaped our societies and languages without being obvious.
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Well that was unexpected. I bet he’s wishing for his miserable life back right about now.
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I does cross his mind ,Alexis.
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Thank you!
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Oh my! Dumped into water and captured by aliens! I didn’t see that coming. Poor guy. Really enjoyed this snippet and I’m sorry to see the story come to an end. I look forward to reading what you share next though. 🙂
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Thank you Stephanie, much appreciated
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From bad to worse? Poor guy. At least they know slang! LOL! Great description. I felt the cold, stinging ocean!
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Thank you Dani. Yep. It does however bottom out eventually for him. It amazes me how many seeming miseries he draws to himself.
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LMAO – Dudes! Check this out! – said by an alien. LOVE it.
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Yeah, I liked the idea too, Daryl. Thank you. We are always thinking we are the norm. What would happen if humans were the weirdos?
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Poor Daniel. Hopefully they are nice aliens – lol – he’s has enough troubles.
And what do you mean you are moving on to another story!?!?!?! We need to know what happens to Daniel.
Tweeted.
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Thank you Victoria! I will be coming back to him. Things get really interesting for him, I am too much of a writer to leave you in the dark for long!
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You’re really tormenting the poor guy. Great job!
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Only a writer woyld say that, Cara. You are right. Poor Daniel!
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Ha! That was an unexpected turn. Though I do worry about what the alien “dudes” are going to do to/with him!
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Fortunately (or unfortunately) these guys do have paperwork for this sort of thing.
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Out of one situation and into another, it looks like. Interesting snippet
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Big time, Fallon. His life is about to be completely changed forever!
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Ahaha! Landed like fish! Poor guy. Now I wonder what they’ll do with their “live one?”
Nice way to end a chapter. It’s writers like you who add to my sleep deficit. 😉
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Don’t you just hate it when instead of dying, you get pulled out of a river like a baby kitten? I hate when that happens.
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Whew! I was pretty worried for him last week. He’s not out of the woods, yet, but last week I thought he was going to be dissected for a study. Seems his former captors found a way to pass their blunder off onto someone else. 🙂
I really like this story you have going, Kim!
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Thanks Teresa. It gets worse for him, long before it gets better.
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Pretty good one! I liked it. 🙂 Your visit to my recent post on my blog would be great. http://www.authoringlife.wordpress.com/rmnp Hope you would like the content and photography 🙂
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Thank you for your frequent visits Karmughil. I have visited your site recently, and shared it on Twitter. The sights are awe-inspiring.
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I’m very much glad. Highly appreciating your sharing on Twitter. Loads of thanks and love. 🙂 🙂
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