Greetings, Weekend Writing Warriors! These are the next sentences in my WIP about a boy who escapes from a medical facility in a time and place far from here. Blagdan falls asleep.
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Leaning against the chilled glass of the rail pod’s window, he surrendered to sleep.
He dreamed.
His consciousness split into two parts. One, the Watcher, was aware of his sleeping body, the other, the Actor, was engrossed in the story unfolding in his mind.
The Watcher was aware that this was an unusual occurrence – this dreaming. It remembered that, at the Facility, he never dreamed. Not ever. Not even once.
The Actor wore the dream like a cloak. Wrapped in its dark folds it was enthralled and appalled by the events playing out.
© Kim Magennis 2016
You can find the preceding text here.
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Why did he never dream when inside, but does dream now? The possibilities can be very frightening. Great snippet to draw us in.
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Thank you Chelle. Very scary, indeed
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Very chilling, especially the hint that something is off. I want to read from the beginning to see how this started. Nice writing!
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Thank you Stephanie, and thanks for dropping by.
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I finally got around to reading this from the beginning! I love the subtle way you’re fleshing out this world you’ve created, and I can’t wait to see what happens next!
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Thank you Matt, and thanks for dropping by!
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Way to describe a dream! I love it!
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Hooked me instantly. Excellent writing. 🙂
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Thank you Amy
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Intriguing 🙂
Tweeted.
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Thank you, Victoria
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Loved the line “The Actor wore the dream like a cloak.” Can’t wait to find out more about this dream with its Watcher and Actor!
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Thank you Jenna!
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To me this has a slightly ominous tone. Nicely done.
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Thank you Elaine.
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Sounds like PTSD. I remember the vets when I was at university, sleeping with their eyes open.
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Hmm. Thank you for that insight!
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Great personification of the two parts of his consciousness…enjoyed this snippet.
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Thank you
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An unusual idea, to split him into two personas, the Watcher and the Actor. Great snippet.
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What an amazing narrative voice, and I love how the dreamer splits himself into Actor and Watcher. Such an intriguing snippet.
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Thank you, Rose!
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Oh I LOVE this, very cool indeed. Excellent excerpt! I’m glad he’s got a Watcher persona to keep him safe…see how invested I am?
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😉 thank you, Veronica!
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Now I really wonder what they were doing to him that he didn’t dream–and why? Intriguing!
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Very evocative sequence. The phrase wearing the dream like a cloak is really effective.
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Thank you, Peter
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Keep going. There’s a theatrical feel to it and we are the audience. Beautiful. Kim.
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Thank you, Charmaine
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The Watcher and the Actor- very cool, and mysterious. Loving how this story is unfolding.
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Creepy, detailed and atmospheric — I love it!
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Thank you, Steven
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“like a cloak” What a great image! Love this, Kim!!
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Thank you Nancy
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very intriguing. Now, I want to know what happens in the dream though
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Love the Watcher v. Actor. The surreal tone is perfect for the description of the dream. Great piece!
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I loved the line “The Actor wore the dream like a cloak.” So visual, Kim. My husband tells me he’s often lucid in his dreams, and this snippet shows both sides.
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You really captured something that feels like the essence of dreams and yet is unlike dreams. Good job.
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Thank you Ed
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Yep. Everything that Jessica said!
I particularly like how you referred to him as a he, but once his consciousness split, that he was now two its. It really gave the actor and the watcher their own places in the story.
I so look forward to the next installments of your stories. 🙂
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Thank you, Teresa. Much appreciated!
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Very intense! And I’m left with so many questions. I’m so intrigued with this story, I look forward to the next bit every week. 🙂
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Thank you, Jessica.
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