Greetings, Weekend Writing Warriors!
Here is the next instalment of the third chapter of my short story about Daniel.
Daniel’s suicide attempt is thwarted by a two-second admin error by the Alien Specimen Collection Centre. The Alien Specimen Handlers decide to dispose of their ‘error’ by inserting Daniel into another world, and he finds himself being processed as an undocumented alien by the Galactic Government of Argle. During his induction, Daniel inadvertently qualifies himself for assignment to ASS. He is handed over to an earnest alien called Dravid. The story continues in Chapter Three: Waking Up In Someone Else’s Bed. Daniel is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at the results of his ‘conversion’.
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Once, in happier times, he had sat drinking coffee at a pavement cafe. He had amused himself by watching the passers-by, imagining what business they could have been pursuing as they bustled past. His attention had been drawn to the up-market men’s clothing store across the road, where a young, blonde woman was wrestling a mannequin out of his must-have apparel. For a few minutes, he had stood naked, as the rest of his display-mates were similarly disrobed. He was the perfect representation of the male form in all but the most manly of ways. He remembered how he had eyed the broad shoulders, narrow hips and long lean flanks with somewhat jaundiced resentment.
He now stood, appalled, as he took in the reflection in the mirror. Not believing what he saw, he ran his hands over his too-perfectly-moulded, nipple-less chest. His fingers explored the supple but firmly textured material of the shiny black surface, and his chest felt the brush of cool smooth fingers. His face was a shocking, blank place-holder: he had no eyes, no ears, no nostrils, his mouth was a bare suggestion.
Kim Magennis 2016
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Oh, wow, that’s creepy! Nice snippet
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Thank you Elizabeth
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What the…? Wow! He doesn’t feel as if anything is gone, why? Can he talk normally? Eat? His new appearance is so weird. Great snippet! I can’t wait to read more!
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Thank you, Elyzabeth. His appearance is only just the beginning of his weird.
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Oh so creepy and yet you’ve shown it so well, believable. Fantastic writing.
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Thank you, Gem
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Wow, this was a powerful scene. Fantastic job! 😀
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Thank you, Amy!
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Interesting that he’s lost so much, but whatever they did to him, he doesn’t seem t be able to feel it. He can clearly still see, hear, and feel, after all. Raises lots of interesting questions about what they did–and why!
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Wow, that’s a rude awakening. I hope he can keep himself together.
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Super excerpt. And unexpected. Poor Daniel. What have they done to him and why?
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Whoa….As soon as I started reading the part about the mannequin, I figured out where this was leading, but it was still a shock to have it confirmed. Now, I’m wondering if he really is a blank slate or if he’s dreaming.
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Very sharp, Cara.I am sure there are moments where Daniel wishes he was dreaming.
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Yeow! I’ve been surprised by the mirror (an old lady lives in there), but never like this!
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Yeah, I have those moments too. But never this bad. Thankfully!
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Wow – such a weird transformation!
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Lol, he has no idea just how weird he has become 😊
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I did not expect this!! Awesome, Kim. Can’t wait to see where you go with this!
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What a fascinating and different story. I certainly wasn’t expecting that. Can’t wait to find out more.
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Thank you, Rachel
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Wow, that was unexpected! Nice. I wonder what the purpose of that ‘conversion’ is.
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It takes quite a while for Daniel to get that answer. And even then, it is not that straight forward.
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Yikes! Now why would they do that? To make him a blank slate for their experiments? Fantastic turn of events here.
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Excellent question, Alexis.
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Uh oh, guessing he might be missing a few other ‘features’ as well? Interesting twist
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😉
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I wondered about that seeing with no eyes too – thanks for the explanation. Altogether a wonderful excerpt, Kim. Your snippets tend to stay with me during the week, I think about what could possibly happen next. And then you surprise me yet again! 🙂
Marcia
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Thank you, Marcia. That means a lot to me. I love being surprised by a story, and creating that for someone else is a special thing for me.
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Oh NO! This has to change. Get the other sweet guy back. I’m not liking this scary frightened creature. HELP!
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He kinda feels the same, Charmaine. Thanks for dropping by, much appreciated 💝
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Well…that’s kind of creepy. Great snippet
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Very 😊
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Uh-oh, sounds like he’s turned into a mannequin! Interesting twist!
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Thank you Christina
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Wow. Wow. Wow. I did not see that twist coming! Outstanding. I might never look at a mannequin the same way again. 😉
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Thank you, Teresa. That is the joy of scifi 😊 make the common… Creepy?
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You’ve got me wondering how he saw himself if he had no eyes. Some sort of ESP?
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Later on, the scientists explain that all his sensory input is invested in his entire body. He could use a fingertip to see, when he works out how. At the moment, because he has no expectations, he thinks he sees and hears and smells with his head.
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I knew you must have some sort of explanation.
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Oh my gosh! That was not what I expected after last week’s snippet. Definitely shocking though. Wow!
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Glad I surprised you, that makes my day! Thank you, Jessica
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