Hello it is time, again, for Weekend Writing Warriors! This is my next 8-sentence-snippet in my latest short story. They have been edited to fit the 8-10 sentence requirement
#8sunday September 7 , 2015 Birdie 07
This story is told from the point of view of a ‘haunt’. She is trapped in a limbo of homeless wandering, when she meets an orange cat and its human child.
The read the preceding text click here. The story continues with the following 8 sentences:
I rolled off the child and lay in the dirt, dazed, battered and bruised.
“Come Miss! Come!” Unbelievably I felt a tug on my hand. “He will come back, we must hide!”
She dragged me to the bushes and into the scrub, away from the railway line. I crawled and scrabbled in the dirt, finding stillness after an eternity of flight.
I woke to the child gently wiping my face with a grubby damp patch of her ragged dress.
© Kim Magennis 2015
Please, let me know what you think.Your comments or impressions are always very welcome. Alternatively, let me know you were here by clicking on the ‘like’ button below. To see what the other Weekend Writing Warriors have submitted, please click on the link below
I have not read the previous selections, I will now as this piece has really grabbed my interest! I look forward to more (as time allows, not a lot of time to participate at the moment but I will try) your writing is too good to miss. Thank you for posing and sharing your talent with us all. Michelle
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Thank you Michelle! What an uplifting thing to say. Much appreciated! I understand and have been victim to that nasty time demon! (I am sure there is a story in that one!!)
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Yup, I agree, there are stories in everything if we just pay attention!
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Wonderful hooks sprinkled throughout. I was pulled in by the cat with its human child. And then the child, the ragged dress, helping. Fantastic imagery! Nicely done, Kim.
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Im curious and this leaves me with so many questions. love it
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I also know the pain of having one more child than I can ever again hold. I hope that the girt, the haunt, and the cat can find some symbiotic happiness together. I’m about to go for a walk with my girl, but I hope to come back to read the bits I’ve missed. Lovely snippet, as always!
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Thanks Shan. Much love and light
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And to you,as well. ❤
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So she’s just solid enough to help, but not enough to be seen by adults, huh? Interesting! I hope that means she can help this little girl.
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Awww, sweet but not saccharine and just raises more questions, as others have said, which is a good thing. Excellent excerpt!
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Thank you Veronica!
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Powerful excerpt. Really nice writing.
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Thank you Cara
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Very intriguing story.
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I went back and read last week’s snippet – oh, man. Thank goodness she was there. This tender moment between them is well-earned and wonderfully described.
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Thank you Alexis!
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Beautiful details and subtle emotional conveyance. Great work!
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Thank you Steven!
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Certainly getting interesting. Nice snippet
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Thank you Fallon
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Heartbreaking for me as someone who lost two children and still searches for them in my dreams. Your story is delicate and mysterious. Thank you.
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Thank you Charmaine, for sharing that. Yes, children are a sore spot for me too
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Oh, that last sentence was heartbreaking! The poor little girl, doing what she can to help. Marvelously evocative, as always!
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Thank you Christina, I am glad it touched you.
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The plot thickens! You certainly have my attention.
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Thank you my friend!
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A very interesting and unexpected twist. It may be that the child NEEDS the haunt and so therefore can see her, then again, children are much more sensitive than most adults. A real curiosity builder.
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I read once, Chelle, that in the past, speculative fiction was about making the strange, ordinary. The comment went on to say that nowadays, our goal is to make the ordinary strange. I liked that idea — a lot 😊
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I love your writing. Your snippets just evoke such melancholy without being over the top. Great job!
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Thank you very much Tamara. I try to set mood without actually describing it in a piece. It means that everything else has to do it instead-without being contrived or obvious.
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Something strange and intriguing is going on but I don’t know what. That isn’t a complaint; I like how you haven’t succumbed to the urge to spell it all out for us, but instead lure us on with incidents that are almost-but-not-quite explicable.
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Thank you Ed. That is a huge compliment. The urge to over share is great!
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